Many people have difficulty in saying “no” to the one they love. This shows that these people have poor boundaries or no boundaries at all. Over a period, this habit can cause an extreme sense of worthlessness and serious anxiety, which stems from over-committing and over-accommodating.
Boundaries can be helpful in defining a person’s role and sincerity in an equation. Once the boundaries are set and one learns to honor his/her boundaries as well as others’, one may feel less anxious and more empowered. Listed below are a few boundaries that must be developed in order to have a respectful relationship and keep off stress and mental problems.
Starting small: Setting boundaries takes time and efforts, but it is important to manage relationships harmoniously. Therefore, while setting boundaries with others – parents, siblings, partner, colleagues – one must go slow, but steady. Talking about a list of boundaries in one go can get intimidating for the other party.
Knowing oneself: A person cannot start setting boundaries without developing a complete understanding of his/her own self. Understanding one’s physical, emotional, spiritual and other needs can help one define clear boundaries. This should help a person realize when enough is enough and when one can say no.
Being flexible: It is good to have healthy boundaries, but that does not mean the boundaries are so rigid that one is alienated. One must be receptive to others’ views since it is a sign of evolving together in a relationship. Being flexible can help say yes, if someone volunteers to help or offer any kind of help.
Practicing self-care confidently: One can’t engage in establishing healthy relationships in the absence of self-care, therefore, one must be mindful of taking care of one’s needs by reading books, going for a facial/massage/spa, meeting friends, devoting time to work out, and so on. One must never compromise on self-care due to guilt or a demanding partner/family member/friend.
Respecting other person’s boundaries: A relationship is a two-way street. One must never forget that it is not just about him/her, but about both the parties. Therefore, one must be mindful of understanding other’s boundaries and make efforts to adhere to them.
Not getting confrontational: One must keep checking repeatedly with his/her partner/friend/parents, or with whom the boundaries were defined, to find out if they feel respected and loved or is there still a scope of improvisation to strengthen the relationship. This will allow both of them to reach out to each other in case the boundaries are violated. To err is human, therefore, there will be times when someone’s boundaries might get crossed. This does not call for a blame game and nasty confrontations. This must be conveyed peacefully as attacking the other person defeats the scope of having a compassionate discussion.
Road to recovery
Many people struggle with anxiety when they have to manage too many things. Thus, they need to create a boundary to stay happy and ward of mental problems like anxiety. Not having such boundaries means that there is no limit to one’s taking responsibilities in a relationship which can make a person overwhelmed and worked-up and this might lead to a mental breakdown. However, there are times when despite all attempts, a person might not be able to manage anxiety. In such a situation, one must seek professional intervention.
If you or your loved one is showing signs of anxiety, contact the Anxiety Treatment Centers of California for guidance on the best anxiety disorders treatment centers in California that offer customized intervention plans for long-lasting recovery. Call at our 24/7 helpline number (855) 972-9459 or chat online with a representative to get the details.